Think about where you are in your life right now. The choices you’ve made, the things that happened to you, the people you’ve loved and lost. Think about this very moment when you’re reading this article.
Now let me ask you a question. How did you get to this point in your life?
Probably not an easy question to answer in a few words, right? Most things in our lives happen for a multitude of reasons. Like why did I decide to study psychology and graphic design at the same time? I have a short answer for that, but I would need a lot of space to thoroughly answer that question.
And that goes for most things in life. But if the question comes up why someone is gay, a simple answer is expected. It’s the genes. The surroundings. The upbringing. The education. It’s a phase of rebellion against society. All I can add is: It is probably not that easy.
I don’t believe that we will ever know for certain why someone is homosexual. As well as we will probably never know why someone is straight. Why some people are transgender. And why most are cisgender.
The title photo of this article is a photo of musicians Tegan & Sara. They are twins, very successful, very pretty and guess what… both are lesbians. A gay friend of mine also has a lesbian sister. And she has a brother who happens to be gay. His boyfriend got a gay brother too. I could go all night, telling you about all my queer friends who happen to have queer siblings. I don’t believe that this is a coincidence. I believe that homosexuality is deeply rooted in our DNA. And sometimes the ‘gay’-gene emerges, sometimes it doesn’t. Just like my sister. She happens to be straight. An exception?
If you are interested in studies about genome mapping and homosexuality I will add two great articles below. Both found compelling arguments that the sexual orientation is somewhat based off our genetic information.
Now for the other question: How is someone gay? Are we all just Appletini-drinking, fashionable basic bitches? No! Gay men are just as diverse as regular men. Sure, some of us are more ‘feminine’ than others, but just look at gay bears. They are probably manlier than a lot of straight metrosexual Hipsters.
And you know what… Why does it even matter if some guys are a little extra and seem more feminine than other men? I say, all is good and well, as long as everyone is happy. I’m just glad that I’m gay so I have an excuse for my weird fashion choices and occasional drama moments. But let’s not hold on to clichés too tight.
So, what do you think makes a person gay?
Suggested further reading:
Heartbreaking story of a gay guy in Christian upbringing
Homosexuality and marriage equality