All gays have fetishes. And you do too.

What would you think about a guy who is willingly getting bound to the wall of a bar? He is naked, his hands and feet are constraint. For everyone to see. Be honest.

Is he open-minded? Horny? Kinky? A slut? A weirdo? A mental case?

Would you be friends with him? Would you like to hang out with him?

Does he have a job? Does he have a normal life?


Let’s start from the beginning. We live in a society in which you either follow a certain norm or stand out of the crowd. We assume things about people we don’t know based on things we see or hear. And that is normal. But while we are busy making assumptions about how other people are different from us, we often forget all the things we have in common.

As humans, we basically are very alike. We are all born in similar bodies with mostly similar brains which think similar thoughts. Beyond that, a strain of choices, opportunities and genetic predispositions makes us individual. So, we see a guy restrained to a wall and think about what made him do that. We assume that our norm is normal, his isn’t.

But what if the only difference between us and someone else is honestly being ourselves including our flaws, wishes and desires? As gay men (most of us) go through the process of opening up about our sexual orientation to a generally heteronormative society. When ‘the bomb dropped’ we can finally be ourselves. We are welcomed into a community that is very open about sexuality and all kinds of fetishes and kinks.

So, since we’ve already started being honest about our sexual orientation why not be honest about our sexual desires as well?

Most of us won’t wind up bonded to a wall waiting for our master to flag us. But we might be into some spanking or soft BDSM. Or maybe we start to enjoy cross-dressing or role-playing with uniforms. Maybe we start enjoying the feeling of leather on our skin or people who are especially hairy or hairless. Whatever floats our/your boat.


The international London Tattoo, creative beast Images


I strongly believe that everyone has a fetish. It doesn’t have to be extreme or out of the box. Maybe you just like big breasts. Or the feeling off stroking hairy armpits. But we all have something. Let’s start embracing our desires and being more open about them. I sincerely believe that everyone can learn from the gay community, how refreshing it can be to be honest about what turns you on.

And if you ever wind up seeing a guy tied to a wall, don’t think about what differs you from him. Maybe think about how you are alike.

So what’s your fetish? Do you think it is weird?
Would you be comfortable telling your friends? Your parents? Your kids?


I found another interesting read on this Topic here: The psychology of fetishes



6 thoughts on “All gays have fetishes. And you do too.

  1. I think you’re onto something here. There are also many people (especially red pill style Men’s Rights Activists) that are extremely upset about how deviant modern women have become… as if we were talked into faux-promiscuity by shows like SATC.

    But I think it’s more likely that many women aren’t repressing their desires as much as they used to. So I can imagine that if you’ve already broken “the rules” by being openly gay, you’re more likely to be in touch with your desires anyway.


    1. Yes, I think so too! I believe that a lot of people, especially religious people, repress their desires because they think they are bad. And they believe so because no one talks about sex and ‘dark’ desires openly. I think shows like SATC, Girls or Looking make a valuable statement that every kind of sex is ‘normal’. Just find out what you like and go for it. You’re not hurting anyone with it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s